Key to happiness!

What is the key to happiness?  This is a question I keep asking myself quite often. At different times I come up with different answers. Sometimes I think being content is the key; some other time I think it is to count your blessings. While both are true, there is one more thing that could stand between you and your happiness….that is Expectation.

We have expectations from people close to us; our parents, siblings, partner, friends and even collegues. We have expectations from ourselves. Our expectations are sometimes realistic sometimes not so realistic.  There is a fine line between being realistic and unrealistic. Not many of us understand it.

All of us do expect something or the other from our loved ones. We believe we are entitled to expect from our dear ones. Parents expect their children to look after them in their old age, they expect their children to marry someone of their choice. Wife expects the husband to take her out every weekend, to take her out on exotic vacations and so on. Irrespective of either big or small relationships come with expectations.

If our loved ones live up to our expectations we are all happy. But what if they don’t? What if they are burdened by our expectations? Do we blame them for the fact that they are unable to live up to the expectations that we have set for them (or ourselves)? Should we be miserable about not meeting expectations or do we have a way out?

I think the ideal thing for us to do is remove expectations out of the equation. Let the people dear to us be loved for who they are and not for what they can give.

“There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations” ― Jodi PicoultNineteen Minutes

Bangalore!

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. -Walt Disney

A major change has taken place in my life. I have shifted base to Bangalore.

When I landed in Bangalore I was welcomed by chilly wind.  I thought I could brave the Bangalore winter but clearly that was not to be.  The change in weather made me ill 😦 After a few days rest, I ventured into the streets of Bangalore.

  • The first thing you will notice here is the traffic moving at snail pace. Then you see people  moving purposefully hoping to reach their destination as soon as possible.
  • There are posters/placards of Rahul Dravid urging you to follow traffic rules on most of the roads/circles all over the city. I hope I bump into the man in real someday 😉
  • One major contradiction I found between Mangalore and Bangalore is the way people talk.  People in Mangalore are generally soft  (/slow) spoken whereas people here mean business.
  • It is quite a fun to travel in the government transport buses. If you are lucky you will witness interesting conversation (read arguments) exchanged between co-passengers, passenger and conductor  etc. :). Mind you this can be fun as long as you aren’t involved in the conversation.
  • The city being the capital of the state is the home to many of our beloved ministers. The traffic comes to a standstill when the ministers in their official cars with red beacon take a tour of the city.
  • If you are new to the city and somebody addresses you as maccha, don’t be flustered;  it means  ‘Dude’. The synonym of dude here is Maccha!
  • The auto drivers here are huge fans of late actor Shankar Nag. You can picture of the actor behind almost every other auto rickshaw.

I am gradually settling down in the new city and my new job. How have you guys been?

PS : It’s been a while since I last updated this place; a few of you even asked if all was okay…..Thank you very much for your concern, I really appreciate it.

Introducing a Bunt!

I was in 3rd standard when I moved to Mysore. The teacher introduced me to the class while I stood next to the her nervously fidgeting with my water can which hung around my neck. The class observed me curiously. The teacher ushered me to my seat after a short introduction. I smiled at the girl seated next to me. She returned the smile somewhat reluctantly.

After few minutes of silence, the girl got talking. She asked my name, previous school, siblings, reason for relocation and lastly came the bouncer,  “So which caste do you belong to?” The question left me stumped because I had no clue what a caste was. “What is a caste?” I asked her in reply.  “Caste is caste….er…like I am a vokkaliga” she said helpfully.  “I don’t know what my caste is” I told her while she nodded sympathetically.

This was an incident that happened almost 18 years ago. Here I make an attempt to explain things that I could not explain then!

I belong to the community of Bunts. We are small community whose roots lie in the coastal region of Karnataka. We may be a small community but that did not stop us from venturing into different territories. We have marked our presence in various fields from Underworld to Bollywood 😛

We are loud, boisterous bunch of people. We are like the Punjabi’s of the south (no offense to the Punjabi’s). Showing-off is in our genes. This comes naturally to us. I remember once I told the entire school Aishwarya Rai was a distant relative!!! This trait actually distinguishes us from others.

Our women love diamonds and gold. Soaring prices will not stop us from buying them. Must-have jewellery for a married bunt woman are clustered diamond earrings, diamond nose pin, V-shaped finger ring which these days is diamond clustered too!!! Easy way to spot a bunt lady is by the amount of diamonds piled on her body.

Our men love to eat. Late evening get-together with the ‘magic beverage’ and kori sukka will make our men forget nagging wives, demanding children and all the other worldly worries.

Our youngsters are doctors or engineers working in air-conditioned offices trying to figure out why they choose the professions that they are in. More often than not it was never them but their parents/relatives who made their career choice!

Our marriages are perfect example of our love for affluence. Dowry to us is a matter of pride. Weddings are no good if there aren’t over 1000 people present to witness the proceedings. A bunt bride could easily give Bappi Lahari a complex! Variety of food and drinks are served.

Match-making is the community’s favorite hobby. This is the best form of social service known to us.

We never miss a chance to say about our relationship with the celebrities/politicians of the community. We either know them personally or have relatives who know them personally.

Phew……this was a glimpse of the community! The next time you come across a proud, loud South Indian who loves to show-off….you know who it is!

 

P.S I publish this post at the risk of being disowned by the community!

 

The story of my photograph!

When half the world’s population is busy changing their profile pictures on Facebook every alternative day, it may come as a surprise  shock to you that I haven’t changed my profile picture for ages! Actually the picture has not been changed since the inception of my Facebook profile. For the inquisitive ones, the profile was created in early 2008!!!!

And when people (read Facebook friends) upload photos of me and tag me in it, most often I shamelessly un-tag myself. And if you are feeling that I am a snob who does not want the world to see my photographs then you are mistaken. Which girl  would not want people to like and put up comments like “Pretty, Lovely, Beautiful” on her pictures?

We girls are genetically programmed to love flattery. What we do not like is not-so-flattering  pictures of ourselves; and if such pictures ever made their way to the social networking sites, you can imagine our depression!

Now coming back to my pictures; you must have already figured by now, the only reason I shy away from uploading my pictures on facebook or any other social networking site is because my pictures are terrible! Finding a decent photograph of mine is like finding water in the desert 🙂 (I know the analogy is a little melodramatic….kindly excuse)

In a comment to Purba’s post on a similar topic when I confessed about my pictures being terrible, she said ‘No photograph can do justice to our beauty’.  Oh…how much I love her for saying that. If truth be told, I very much agree with her 😉

But then there are another set of people who are born to be photographed. They know how to pose, turn their head in the right angle and smile when being clicked. If you belong to this category then you have all my respect and admiration. I secretly envy these people 🙂

I am hoping there will come a day when I too look er….. stunning in photographs! I hope there will be a day when my profile picture will get more likes than the number of friends in my friend list 😉

 

PS : Those of you who also feel that your pictures don’t do justice to your personality can read this. You can thank me later 😀

PS : I apologize for my absence from the blogging scene. I shall try to be more regular here.

 

(In)sensitivity

There are times when we are at the receiving end of hurtful questions and insensitive remarks. How do you deal with such questions and with the people who throw them at you?

  1. You take offense and give a fitting reply.
  2. You are shocked beyond words while you fumble like an idiot.
  3. You choose to ignore the question/remark.

Just yesterday, a lady at the bus stop asked me a rather rude question (the details of which I shall not divulge for obvious reasons). I mumbled a monosyllabic answer. The very fact that I answered her and did not lose my head left me quite surprised; because it is so unlike me.  Perhaps the question left me baffled or it is just that I am more prone to be hurt than be angry.

What makes it worse is the fact is the people asking you such questions mostly do not realize that it could be hurtful. To them they are indulging in a polite conversation. A majority of the people do not see the distinction between prying and polite conversation.

Come to think of it  the best way to deal with these people would be to just ignore them. They are just those unfortunate people whose tiny minds cannot comprehend sensitivity.